Races can be scary. Some runners are scarier.
Which villains from scary or suspenseful movies are good runners? The competitors were assessed by several factors, most of which are made-up nonsense.
1. Michael Myers (Halloween)
A marathoner for sure. He just keeps coming and coming and coming and insists on playing that damn piano music on his iPod. For 30 years, Myers has dominated races in the state of Illinois where he maintains strong family ties.
2. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th parts 1-896)
You run. He walks. He wins.
Also: He excels at trail races and plays hockey in his spare time.
3. Norman Bates (Psycho)
Can compete in either the men’s or women’s division. You don’t mind hanging out with him after a race, because he always hits the showers first.
5. Jack Torrance (The Shining)
Great at picking hotels for road races. Also excellent at maintaining a training schedule while keeping things fun – because all work and no play does in fact make Jack a dull boy.
5. Pennywise the Clown (IT)
Because who doesn’t love a runner in a costume?
6. Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
Understands the psychology of distance running and how to load carbs effectively.
7. Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
Sleep is an important factor in recovery and Freddy knows a lot about the topic. He likes to wear his lucky sweater while running, as he doesn’t mind things that are scratchy.
8. David (The Lost Boys)
This was the vampire played by Kiefer Sutherland.
Pros: He demonstrated speed, agility, and a hunger for victory. He made vampires cool before people went crazy about them two decades later.
Cons: Only competes in night races.
9. Max Cady (Cape Fear – 1991 version)
One of my favorite De Niro roles. The character of Max Cady cross-trained like no other (see prison exercise scene) and was a muscular triathlete type as he excelled both on land and water.
10. John Doe (Seven)
Played by Kevin Spacey (who really is a runner), he’s probably the most disturbing of the bunch, since he’s the most realistic. He could be the guy beside you in the starting corral. He might be the fellow you unintentionally infuriate when you pass him on Mile 7. Or he might be sketching out a plan for your demise in his journal right this very second. You simply don’t know. He may not be the fastest competitor out there, but he’s never failed to finish a race. Also – he’s known to give gifts, but I wouldn’t open that box.
As a bonus, Morgan Freeman narrates all of his races.
Want to add to this list? Leave a comment!
J.J. Hensley is the author of RESOLVE, which is set against the backdrop of the Pittsburgh Marathon, and Measure Twice. He is a former police officer and former Special Agent with the U.S. Secret Service.
RESOLVE has been named a finalist for Best First Novel by the International Thriller Writers organization and was named one of the Best Books of 2013 by Suspense Magazine.
An addict is killing Pittsburgh city officials, but Homicide Detective Jackson Channing has his own addiction.
In the Pittsburgh Marathon, more than 18,000 people will participate. 4,500 people will attempt to cover the full 26.2 miles. Over 200 of the participants will quit, realizing it just wasn’t their day. More than 100 will get injured and require medical treatment. One man is going to be murdered. When Dr. Cyprus Keller lines up to start the race, he knows a man is going to die for one simple reason. He’s going to kill him.
And look for my short story FOUR DAYS FOREVER in the LEGACY anthology